Earlier this year, Demi Lovato came out as non-binary and changed their pronouns to they/them.
While the world we live in is, thankfully, more accepting of gender non-conformity than it was just a few years ago, non-binary people — even ones as famous and influential as Demi — still face a great deal of challenges.
One of those challenges comes in the form of being misgendered in conversation, even by those who mean well and had no intention of offending but who were merely careless in their speech.
That’s the position that Teen Mom 2 star Kailyn Lowry wound up in after discussing Demi on her podcast this week.
In the latest episode of Coffee Convos — the popular podcast that Lowry co-hosts with Lindsie Chrisley — Kail accidentally misgendered Demi during a discussion about the singer.
“So, I really just came on here to apologize and say, moving forward, I want to do better,” Lowry explained.
“I want to respect people and what their pronouns are and truly just ask people, moving forward.”
Though she doesn’t identify as non-binary, Kail says she has some experience with being misgendered.
During her apology, she recounted a recent experience in which Chris Lopez — the father of her two youngest children — referred to her as “they.”
“I think it was yesterday or the day before, I got on here to correct Chris on my pronouns. My pronouns are ‘she’ and ‘her,'” Kail revealed.
“He constantly calls me ‘they,’ ” Lowry continued. “Knowing that that’s done to me, I actually caught myself referring to Demi Lovato in today’s episode as ‘her’ and ‘she’ when her pronoun is ‘they.’ “
Yes, unfortunately, Kailyn misgendered Demi again in her apology, a fact that’s likely to draw some criticism on social media.
But it sounds as though Kail’s apology was sincere, and misgendering Demi was legitimately a mistake.
If she does receive any further backlash, it probably won’t be from Demi, who has made it clear that she’s empathetic toward those who have accidentally misgendered someone with no intention of causing harm.
“I felt the need to post this because I often find that the change in pronouns can be confusing for some, and difficult to remember for others,” Demi tweeted in July, along with the meme below.
“It’s all about your intention. It’s important to me that you try, but if you make a mistake, it’s okay.”
Yes, intention is crucially important in matters such as these.
Despite the fact that she did so a second time, it does not appear that Kail misgendered Demi on purpose.
It does seem, however, that Chris knew exactly what he was doing when he misgendered Kail, which is utterly deplorable.
Demi came out as non-binary on their podcast back in May.
“Over the past year-and-a-half, I’ve been doing some healing and self-reflective work,” Demi said at the time.
“And through this work, I’ve had the revelation that I identify as non-binary. With that said, I’ll be officially changing my pronouns to they/them,” Lovato added.
“I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression and allows me to feel most authentic and true to the person I both know I am, and am still discovering.”
Back in 2018, Demi suffered a drug overdose that nearly claimed their life, and they’ve obviously devoted a great deal of time to self-reflection in the years since.
We’re sure coming out as non-binary was not a decision they made lightly, so it’s commendable that they’re so understanding about the possibility of others accidentally using the wrong pronouns.
It remains to be seen whether or not they’ll publicly comment on the Kail situation, but we’re guessing all is forgiven.