Our favorite accidental alcoholism documentary, The Real Housewives of New York City, went wild this week for Ramona Singer's birthday party.
Everyone was having fun … except for Ramona, who seemed poised to flip out at Leah. When she did, she threatened to quit the show.
Apparently, Ramona's birthday party had a secret Footloose theme, because she did not like dancing.
Actually, we don't remember her taking an issue with anyone else's dancing. Not Dorinda's, not Elyse's, and not even Sonja's.
But Leah? When Ramona saw her dancing with Luann, you'd think that she had stripped naked and started a food fight.
Actually, speaking of Leah and "naked," Ramona's first response upon seeing Leah — when she spoke to her — was to examine her dress.
Like an overly controlling mother policing what her teenage daughter wears on a date, Ramona looked her up and down.
The dress had a liner, folks. It was form fitting and nice looking but Leah did not have her whole p–sy out, despite Ramona's suspicions.
At first, Ramona's party goes as she expects. It's 100 rich women in a large room.
Leah acknowledges that the room looks like the beginning of MILF porn. We will take her word for it.
Ladies chat among themselves and have their photos taken.
It is worth noting that, while some of the Housewives are being careful about not drinking, others — like Dorinda and Sonja — are showing less restraint.
Sonja, in particular, begins dancing by herself and honestly? We're living for that energy of hers.
Also, Sonja's drunken dancing turns out to be a bit of a Chekhov's Gun fo the evening.
Leah doesn't have to be smashed to have a good time.
Approaching Luann, who also knows how to party (even without alcohol), she begins to give Luann a bit of a lapdance.
Luann throws back her head and laughs in delight. The best part of dancing while you're sitting down is that you still get to sit, so she's having a great time.
Not one to be left out of the fun (this time), Dorinda comes up and very quickly joins in the dance.
The dance is a little raunchy, but that's how like two-thirds of damce moves are.
Compared to Ramona's reaction later, you'd think that Leah were tribbing with her fellow ladies. They're just dancing, fully clothed.
Leah's skirt does ride up — something that Ramona notices, to her horror.
Folks, Leah is a human being who is fortunate enough to have all four of her natural limbs.
It's human legs. It's not like she just got vajazzled and is showing it to everyone.
Anyway, Ramona spies them from across the room.
She missed her chance to chastize Leah earlier, on the grounds that she couldn't technically find anything wrong with Leah's outfit.
Now, she springs into action, pulling Leah away from the group by her arm and tugging her skirt down to cover her (gasp) thighs.
This bananas behavior does not go unnoticed.
Leah's reassurances that they're just dancing (and reminders that she's not the only one dancing) fall on deaf ears with Ramona.
So Dorinda chimes in, reminding her that they're just having fun and that there's nothing wrong whatsoever.
In her confessional, Dorinda notes that Leah can "do no right" in Ramona's eyes.
Ramona has clearly just been waiting for an excuse to give her a hard time about living her life and being a person.
Dorinda then does a great impression of Ramona's uptight response to a little harmless dancing, as you can see in the video that we included.
Leah tries to explain to Ramona that she hasn't done anything wrong.
In fact, despite the weird and hostile circumstances, we're glad that this went down.
The image below could be a very useful meme … more useful once the pandemic ends and going to parties becomes an option again.
Ramona cannot let it go, even when Leah tells her how ridiculous she is being.
Normally we think of her as a bit of a herbo (an affectionate term for a woman who is both cute and dumb; a female himbo)
She harps on the fact that Leah was dancing like a "stripper." What's the problem with that?
At this point, Ramona goes Full Karen and demands to speak with the manager … ahem, the producers.
She repeatedly demands that they "shut it down," adamantly insisting that they stop filming.
If they don't, Ramona vows, why, she'll quit the show on the spot!
This is when that Chekhov's Gun that we pointed out to you gets fired.
As if to drive home Ramona's double standard where Leah is always the bad guy in her mind, Sonja steps onto a table and begins dancing.
No, sorry, she jumps onto a table and then begins dnacing on a horizontal mirror, which of course cracks and shatters beneath her heels.
"Tune in tonight for Ramona. Watch her get embarrassed by MY 'bad' behavior," Leah teased this week on Instagram. "Yes, you heard it right."
Leah continued: "the woman who defecates on hotel room floors (and expects others to clean it up), who calls her own friends fat …"
"… And who tries to flex on IG during a pandemic is supposedly embarrassed that I got shitfaced," Leah concluded. "Please!"