Everyone wants to attract their soulmate; to find them. We look at it as a glowing, glittering value; we’re waiting for the person to come into our lives and forever change it. When I pictured mine, I would daydream about all the people I’d want to be jealous that I’d found my person. I wanted them to hate to see me happy; to want me, because they never wanted me before. I was wishing for all the wrong things. I wanted to find my soulmate to make me desirable to someone who decided they didn’t want me. I wasn’t thinking about the happiness finding that someone would bring me, or that maybe they’d be the one to finally give me everything I needed. I looked into myself, I mean really looked, and I was horrified. I was looking to be fixed, to finally able to move on, but only I can give that to myself. I realized that when I finally do find that someone, no one or nothing else is going to matter. I have to look within and get rid of all the bitterness and darkness they left in me and only then can I attract the light. I have to forgive on my own; forgive for the broken hearts and the jealous tears. I have to forgive the feelings of inadequacy and pride and humiliation. Just because someone didn’t want me, doesn’t mean no one else will or that I’ll never be treated the way I deserve. I made it my life to make sure they eventually did want me and all it left me with was emptiness and roots of a deep, winding sadness. So I forgave. I let go. I let go because I can’t attract the true person I want for all the wrong reasons. I trust my path, I forgive, and I’ve never felt more free.